Okay, so we were expecting my sister at 3:40 this afternoon, but it turned out that because of the snow in Memphis, the plane was having technical difficulties and couldn't lift off, so now my sister is spending the night before Christmas Eve in a snowy city, barely caring that the hotel service is free, instead of here with her family, while the other flights to here are safely delivered on time. An example of how life isn't fair.

      So now tomorrow we're going to drive to San Antonio and pick her up from there because that's the only direct flight that the airlines can make. And that makes it one day shorter of her precious visit with us. That sucks. The one thing that I really wanted for Christmas is denied me. At least by one day.
Don't the airlines know that time is precious?

   This whole time I've been wondering to myself: Out of all the flights they could cancel, why couldn't they have delayed the departure flight on Tuesday for when my sister has to leave? This is going to be our first Christmas in this house, and it won't even start off right. Of all the luck in the world, why does my sister have to bear the unfortunate portion of it?

I need to scream my lungs out to let the depression go.

Adios!

   And now I'm all fired up for the possible snow that may be coming our way on the 24th of December. I will forever praise the Moon if we get snow that actually sticks for more than a few hours! Seriously....my obsession with snow is like my obsession with vanilla, and for those of you who know me know that that is saying a lot!

Anyway, I must go update my other blog.......say, is manila the only word that rhymes with vanilla?

I want to send to death row people accused of giving out fatal blows
But most of all, I want to be an agent standing tall.

My second thought of the day is:
"Life is so boring
It's really got me snoring
I'm wearing out the flooring
In a cheap hotel."
                         -"The Air Beneath My Fingers"        The White Stripes

You know when you decide to try something new, thinking it will be good, but it turns out to be dull?

1. Shakira's new English/Spanish CDs

2. My sister's visit

           I actually have a feeling that we won't bicker this time. She'll be here for more than three days, so we can share music, go shopping, gossip, and reminisce about childhood memories.


3. Hanging out with Stephanie again

         Yesterday she came over just as the five-thirty episode of Will & Grace was beginning, and we watched all the way until 6:30. Then we hung out around my "crib" and then we got online and talked to this college guy from Virginia. If I had saved the conversation, I would have posted it. So then we watched "Chasing Liberty" in the dark, and she thought Matthew Goode was hot and that Mandy Moore was a weirdo. So then we went to sleep, and I woke her up this morning at 7:30 because she had to be at work around 12. We made plans to meet up later.

4. Reuniting with my Muse
5. Snow
6. Working at a bookstore
7. Taking showers with vanilla
8. Learning fluent Spanish

         When I was in kindergarten in Boca Raton, Florida, my class was walking back from lunch in our Madeline lines. At that moment, I decided to close my eyes. When I opened them awhile later (shocked that I was still able to walk straight without bumping into anything) I noticed a strange boy looking at me weirdly. It didn't take me long before I realized that I was walking with another class, and my own was nowhere to be found. So I waited in the central room of the small school until my teacher, Mrs. Hixon, found me.

Present:
         Nowadays, when I close my eyes and try to picture myself somewhere else, I also open my eyes to the never-ending reality: I'm not in kindergarten anymore.


        
Past:
          That same year, I began noticing a tan, curly brown-haired boy with eyes of dark chocolate in my class. I was five at the time, and while it was impossible for me to understand the concept of love and infatuation, in one year of speaking English, I felt like I knew every word to express my feelings about him. His name was Rodney, a name my heart had not forgotten how to beat for. I had no way of knowing that he would be my first crush in America, the first one that my eyes would gaze at for more than the expected time. For Halloween that year, when the school had a costume fest, I remember how good he looked as a vampire. He even had the complement fangs. While he hid under the black cape, I was enjoying the silky feel of my Barbie costume.


         Although I could never know it then, the poem presented to me in a cardboard plaque, decorating with my picture and a handprint of my right hand, would set the stage for my poetic motivation in th years to come. Now as I look back on my innocence, I realize that my first year in America was something I will always cherish but can never have back. And I can't help but wonder.......will I ever experience the pleasure of being near someone so quiet and serene as Rodney who made my world come alive with just his existence? Will my Muse ever come back to me? And most importantly, will I ever stop reminiscing long enough to move on?

 

I'm jealous....

I'm jealous......

Why keep denying it?

I'm jealous.....

I'm jealous.......

I'm jealous of something that I can't ever have!


There! That depressed me even more. Who am I kidding? The worst thing about it is that I can't stop communicating with half the reason that makes me so envious.

I'm jealous.

Now I will crawl back into my shell.